First Date Tips That You Need to Know
We’ve gathered the best first date tips that you need to know to help your experience be the best it can be. We know the first date is not always easy. They’re nerve-wracking. But it doesn’t always have to be that way. Check out these first date tips!
- According to a recent study by Match.com, looking at your phone is a huge turn-off for men and women. That’s why you need to put the phone down. Put the phone on silent. Turn it off. Don’t leave it on the table with the screen up. Leave it in your car (if you have no self-control). Do whatever you can to keep yourself from looking at it on a first date unless it’s absolutely necessary. That means no Instagramming, Snapchatting, selfies, etc. The focus of the date should be getting to know each other.
- Be an active listener. Ask follow-up questions about things that your date is talking about.
- First date jitters are normal. Your date will likely be just as nervous as you are. So reserve judgment and take a deep breath every now and then to calm those nerves.
- Don’t do a movie unless there are limited options in your town. If you have to do a movie, make sure you do the movie first then go grab drinks and/or food. You can do a debrief about the movie during dinner and it will help keep the conversation varied.
- Make sure you smile!
- There is no need to follow gender norms. Whether you’re male or female, you’re both trying to impress one another. Don’t expect your date to do all the work and vice versa. Both of you could end up in a relationship and if one of you is doing all the work, that relationship is doomed to fail later on.
- Don’t mention your ex at all. Even if your date does. Instead of talking about your ex, talk to your date about what they’re into. And if they do bring it up, you can say something like “Oh, that sucks. Sorry to hear that.” Try and move the conversation to another topic so it doesn’t spiral from there. Remember… ask open-ended questions to help get the conversation going.
- Now if you didn’t feel anything on the first date, that doesn’t mean you’re not going to later on. Sometimes people fall for each other over time and a second date is sometimes needed to figure that out. Remember that more than likely you’re both nervous and this is often a major factor in a date not going well. Second dates tend to go much better because you’ve got to know each other a bit and the pressure isn’t as rough as the first date.
- Always make sure there are external stimuli around you. That way you can comment on things other than just topics about yourselves. This takes the pressure off of both of you to come up with things to talk about. We always recommend sitting at the bar or at a table that faces the kitchen in a restaurant. Or better yet, do a walking date.
- Don’t give up. Don’t expect to find the love of your life on the first date. You might go on 100 first dates, but eventually you’ll go on your last first date.
- Don’t invite a friend on your first date let alone any dates until you’re in a relationship. You’ll be surprised that this can backfire because you could have a friend that isn’t as respectful and pursue your date or say something that’s off-putting to them. Unless it’s a double date, bringing a friend is never a good idea.
- Touch early and often. This doesn’t mean you touch inappropriately. When your date has gone well, but you’ve neglected to touch one another, the awkwardness will be much, much higher when one of you goes in for a kiss. Playful touching is totally okay. Check out this article for a better idea of what and what not to do regarding touching.
- Another first date tip that you need to know is to figure out who pays? On a date between a man and a woman, it’s usually expected that a man will pay. However, this doesn’t mean a woman shouldn’t offer to pay. If you don’t offer, you’re sending a negative signal that you might not ever offer. That’s often a turn-off for a man. Watch this Matthew Hussey video for a bit more explanation.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for a second date! If you feel you’ve had a great time with your date, there is no harm in scheduling another date at the end. You can say something like, “When can I see you again?”
Have you ever wondered what you should never talk about on a first date?
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